SNEAK PEEK ;)

2 Jun

I don’t do this often but I’ve decided to share a little snippet of BTE with you all, seeing as I’m getting down to the wire with the first draft, and am feeling pretty darn good about the project as a whole. So, I give you a sneak peek of BEFORE THIS ENDS, as it now lies. (Forgive any nasty “Make your eyes bleed” typos or general gross prose, as this is first draft material)

Que Mood music:

And… action:

Irona is so much bigger than I remember. Sharper somehow, like my childhood has been stripped off its towers, leaving them bare and trembling in the air. The buildings sharper and harder, the soft edges of innocence suddenly gone. I haven’t been back since that day we were taken, a day when the sky was dark and open. Empty. A day when the towers seemed squashed under the oppression of the clouds, and the screams of my Mother and Alec.


We are on the city’s very edge now. The curling ends of blacktop marking it’s beginning. My end.


Jett seems uneasy, shifting with the slightest blow of the wind, which has become stronger now, while Samson strides far ahead of us, almost in opposition to Jett’s unease. I feel as if I’m tethered to him, yanked along behind him without consent.

The simple brush of his arms, and fingers; trails of warmth I’d taken for granted only a few days ago have been swept away with a new coldness, an indifference that radiates off him like heat off asphalt.

Suddenly I realize that I miss him, as if I ever had him, I think almost choking on a laugh that squeezes up between a tight throat. I am bitter with this new void in my heart that he has created. A hole carved out just long enough to hurt me before this ends.

I hope you all enjoyed that! Wish me luck on my writing binge that is scheduled to go down at 6:30 tonight! Hope your manuscripts, and general writerly endeavors are going well. 😉

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12 Responses to “SNEAK PEEK ;)”

  1. juanvillagrana June 2, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    THIS IS AMAZING!!! Especially for being first-draft material. I especially loved the way you started this snippet off. The writing is fantastic!
    =)

    • nkeda14 June 3, 2011 at 10:58 am #

      🙂 WOW thanks 😀 I didn’t expect that reaction! Makes me want to go write more!

  2. peacesigngirl21 June 2, 2011 at 10:26 pm #

    Hmm…I’m searching for words to describe this…(Curse my low vocabulary!) Is sheer-awesomeness good enough? For a first draft, this is amazing! Ah, it makes me want to complete chapter one of my own book. 😀 Now if only I can get those words to flow! 😉

    • nkeda14 June 3, 2011 at 10:59 am #

      Thanks 😉

      Good luck writing

  3. gabriellan June 3, 2011 at 1:41 am #

    Wow. Are you sure this is a first draft? Haha. I love the visuals that I get when I read this. And your last sentence is awesome 🙂

    • nkeda14 June 3, 2011 at 11:02 am #

      Thanks haha, and yes this is FOR SURE first draft stuff. It took me a while to figure out how to work in my title. I really wanted it in the manuscript somewhere.

  4. harmamae June 3, 2011 at 2:59 pm #

    Yes, it was very good and very visual. A good opening for a novel. 🙂

    • nkeda14 June 3, 2011 at 3:09 pm #

      Thanks. It’s actually not my opening though O.o

      It’s from one of the “pre-climax” chapters.

      • harmamae June 3, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

        Ah. Well. Intriguing sneak peek anyway.

  5. nkeda14 June 5, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Ugh… YouTUBE is lame they totally just shut my “mood music” down. This is why YouTube now, for all time, sucks.

    Gah I hate the internet!

  6. Michael Cunningham September 19, 2011 at 7:21 am #

    Nice, I would suggest changing ‘leaving them bare and trembling in the air’ though, just my opinion; not a fan of rhyming descriptions. Also the repetition of towers, unless that is symbolic and you meant it, it is distracting! But apart from that the snippet is excellent, you have a way with words! I hope my criticism was constructive… :S

    • nkeda14 September 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

      Yes thanks 🙂 This was just a first draft but I see what you mean. It has gotten cleaned up in editing since I posted it. Thanks for the advice though!

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