Crap! … Nano

So it’s October… yeah… am I the only one who just came to that realization; or just now began to comprehend the fact that November comes after October? Does that happen every year? I’m pretty sure it didn’t last year.

My point:

HOLY CRAP NANO IS NEXT MONTH!

It’s rather pathetic that I just thought of this yesterday, you know, considering it’s the 15th of October and there is only 2 1/2 weeks until November begins.

I’m not entirely sure If I can accomplish Nano this year… Why? Because a writing blogger not doing Nano is disgraceful, but I’m very busy on other types of writing.

You see,  It’s my Jr. year of high-school, and that means scholarships, scholarships, scholarships! (what fun!) Anyway, I’m applying for two HUGE  MASSIVE GARGANTUAN  scholarships (like the ‘if you win me you get into any college in your state for FREE’ kind of huge scholarships) The first is called GSP (Governor’s Scholarship Program) and it consists of a 30 page resume and 2 essays that have to BLOW PEOPLES MINDS, and 3 letters of recommendation that basically outline how awesome you are. The second is GSA (Governor’s Scholarship of the Arts) and this one is really exciting! Its a scholarship for any of the arts (hint: writing, photography, dance, etc.) I must have a portfolio of my chosen media. I can’t decide if I should send in my writing, or my photography… If I do writing I have to submit two pieces that also have to blow people’s minds to pieces with their awesomeness! (I just think I might die trying to decide.)

Either way I have a TON of writing to do, as both applications are due by December. DECEMBER!

Which means working on an entirely new novel is basically impossible. I will probably just lay down and die if I attempt Nano this year.  But then again I’m kind of desperately wanting to start a new novel that I have this great idea for… ugh! My life.

I’ll probably end up making January my own Nano (or… um… Jano?) That way I’ll have a week of winter break in January and all this scholarship craziness will be over!

*stress*

Anyway, who has more gumption than me and is actually doing Nano this year? What do you plan on writing?

 

Ally on: Being a Teen Writer

I feel like it’s time for a little heart to heart here guys. I just need to get this situation off my chest, because everyone else seems to have an opinion about it and so here’s my two cents on teen writers, and being one.

First off, we get a bad wrap. At least I thinks so. We can’t write anything ‘good‘, were shut ins, we drink large amounts of tea, and on top of all of this people seem to think that were just writing for fun. FUN? Whomsoever thinks writing is fun has obviously never done it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked to people and when I tell them I’m a writer they’ll say over exuberantly  “Oh that’s cute!” or dreadfully, “you aren’t going to college for that are you?”. With either response you might as well of just spit in my tea and walked away.

I’m not taken seriously, and i know it. Heck, everyone knows it!

If you’re between the ages of say… 13 and 20 and drop the ‘W’ bomb you’re whole ship is sunk. You automatically become the out in space, unrealistic dreamer who obviously doesn’t have his/her head on straight and clearly, ever so clearly needs to be steered in the right direction. I can’t tell you how often my Grandmother has throw out the topic of engineer, or chemist, or (if you absolutely must) biologist when I bring up writing. And it isn’t that those aren’t good jobs, or that I couldn’t do them (or don’t want to) it’s the fact that you don’t even give writing a second thought.

No one has EVER said to me (other than fellow writers) “Why Ally, you should keep writing! You could have a future there.”

And I’m not asking for handouts, or compliments, honestly. If you want to tell me I suck at writing and am a failure and that I’ll never amount to anything in the field… fine. But don’t just skim over it like it isn’t even worth a comment, like since its worthless to you it’s worthless to me, because it’s not.

And i think that’s where the big misconception is. People think this is just something I do. They think that it’s worthless.That it’s all the papers you throw away at the end of the school year (sure you used them once, they meant something once. But no one else will want them, and eventually you’ll realize you don’t need them, and you’ll just toss it out with the trash)

But it ISN”T LIKE THAT.

Writing is something that you have to commit to. ESPECIALLY as a teen! School, sports, friends, family, clubs, a part-time job, applying for college (if your a Jr./Senior), and church (if your into that) is all on a teen’s plate. Add writing to that and, well, you could just about drop dead at the end of the day. At least I could. I suppose this isn’t just teens, but every writer with a life. (haha, what life?). What I’m saying is it’s easy as a teenager to steal every spare moment of  the day to just catch your breath, but teen writers don’t and that’s what people don’t get.

Most of the time writing isn’t fun, and we have to MAKE time to do it. We have to force ourselves to do a lot of days. And anybody who writes will tell you that isn’t easy. You have to take yourself very seriously to do it.

I take myself seriously, and I just wish other people would to. I’m not asking you to tell me I’m amazing. I’m just asking you to give me chance.

When You have a Pile of Sawdust: BURN IT.

Day 1/17

The pathetic side of my life exists when I find myself at my desk staring at a color-coded planner and eating whole grain pop tarts. Why I even bother to get the whole grain I don’t know, because there’s no way they actually have nutritional value even with the added saw dust fiber. So, as I pathetically sit at my desk eating pop tarts I have decided to talk about keeping things real up in here, at Novel Ideas. After all, if I can’t be honest with you all who can I be honest with?

Honestly I haven’t written in over a month. Sad. Sad, sadness. *cries* The last thing I worked on was ABLAZE and oh god it’s terrible. It’s really, really ,really abominable and dreadful and.. ugh. Bad. I know I say this every time I write a first draft, but oh god it’s just THAT bad. But since I sad I would finish it, I’m going to, dreadful as it is. Now that I have that slime wiped off my chest we can get on with what to do when you have a large pile of ugh… saw dust (lets go with that since it ties in with my first paragraph which really had nothing to do with anything).

Saw dust is a messy substance. Difficult to create with, usually the product of work that makes you all sweaty, and on top of this it has the annoying tendency to blow up in your face. (Oh gee this is actually a very apt metaphor!) So, at this point I am knee deep in saw dust (ABLAZE) and it’s looking rather like… well saw dust. How do you get through the rest of the saw dust; that  if you see this project through (which you should) will surely bury you? Here are my tips:

1: Expect the Expected

That is to say don’t be surprised at the fact that there is so much terribleness in your novel. Its going to be terrible, and somehow everyone (even me) at the beginning of a new project expects this fundamental truth to suddenly evaporate and that glittery rainbows will ribbon from the skies and your manuscript will be all glittery and fantastic. NO. Don’t kid yourself, no matter how great the idea will seem it will eventually reach suck-age. Thus you will always end up with a pile of sawdust. Granted (depending on the level of planning) sometimes the pile will be smaller than usually, but it will still exist. Expect it.

2. Wear Goggles

Having things, particularly saw dust or a manuscript blow up in your face is a rather terrible experience. A good way to provent this is to have a fall back (or some goggles) to help you see straight. In other words have another manuscript to refresh your vision when you are are tired of the wind blowing the dust up in your face.  Having another manuscript to work on will keep you fresh. Hacking through parts of a novel will only lead to the accumulation of more saw dust. Take a break, wipe off your goggles and breathe.

3. Burn It

At the end of the novel just burn it. Toss the match over your shoulder and watch it go up. If it’s really that bad at least you learned what NOT to do, and you can just start over. Besides saw dust burning is rather fun. you can laugh manically and roast marshmallows! It’s fantastic and I look forward to doing it when I finish Ablaze.

So, sawdust. opinions? Anyone in the midst of the stuff?

 

When Your Best isn’t Enough

You just pause… re-read the last paragraph… stop… look around the room. This can’t possibly be me at my best, right? My inspiration it’s lost under a pillow, or stuffed at the bottom of my closet. This, this on the page can’t possibly be what I came up with, can it?

Even when you’re giving it your all it sucks. Gosh it just sucks. The words don’t sound right. Every sentence is lopsided, and the dialogue sounds stilted and awkward. You just want to vomit. Yeah, because vomit might actually look more appealing than this mess.

We’ve all felt this way. Even when you are trying  give your best it just falls flat.  It’s frustrating. It’s what makes us dread writing, and in a way, what makes us love it too.

After all, there is nothing like a writing high. I don’t think there’s a drug in the world that can duplicate the feeling. That drive to write, to create, that just never ends, words are bubbling up in your mind so fast that it’s as if you’re living the scene in your mind as it spills out onto the page, and when you look back over it your just so… proud. It’s not even close to the right word, but that is as close as I can get to describing it. Pride, relief, accomplishment.

Without the lows, the slugging through terrible, or what feels terrible. Without the slam on your brakes wrong turns, and the stink of cheesy lines, you’d never know what the really good thing felt like.

But when your best doesn’t feel good enough what do you do?

If you can answer this, you have the answer to writers block, to everything that stalls, stops, or slows us down as writers.

And my answer? Gosh man will I feel dumb saying this, because it’s not the answer you guys want. It’s not the answer I want. That’s why you’re sitting here reading this right? Why you keep reading writing blogs, why you Google ‘how to get rid of writers block’? It’s because you hate the answer; an answer YOU ALREADY HAVE. I bet you can guess what it is before I even say it.

Write. Write, write write write write write write.

I would read this same advice over and over, but it never got through to me. Sometimes it still doesn’t make it through to my fingers from my brain. Okay, A LOT of the time it doesn’t. I just kept searching for a different answer and I never found one.

You won’t either.

That’s the reason your best isn’t good enough, it’s because you have absolutely convinced yourself (consciously or not) that there is another answer to your writing woes. That the act you’re doing now, or have done, or plan on doing is not good enough to make you better.

So every time you tell yourself it’s not good enough. Ask yourself why. I guarantee that every time you write you DO get better (whether you realize it or not!). Just keep writing.

Go on now! Write!

😉

 

Well… This is Awkward :/

*Que the strange apparition parting from the mist*

Oh, wait. Nope. That is just Ally.

I’ve been gone for what? two and half, three weeks?

Awkward…

I suppose I ought to explain myself.

Well, besides a number of personal issues. I’ve begun some new classes this semester one of them being the large and terrible abomination of Algebra III! I mostly veg out in that class and then go home and blankly stare at the book until I think I can read the first equation. All of which takes about four hours… Then I give up and go cry like a sissy girl.

Obviously, I hate algebra, and being able to study and pass that class thus far has been a nightmare.

After adjusting to that for about a week, I figured ‘hey let’s get back on the blogging train!’

Fate had other things planned. Things like a case of the flu. Ugh. A REALLY bad case of the Flu. So I spent four days shivering and sniveling in my house. Fun.

This lead to me being way behind in Algebra (I just finished all the makeup work this past Friday).

Then to put a cherry on top of all this, Track season started last week! Yeah! But, not exactly conducive  to a blogging schedule.

As you can see it’s been kind of crazy! I literally didn’t touch my laptop for something like a week. When I say I didn’t touch it, I mean I didn’t even boot  up the internet. The thing was in hibernate mode for SEVEN FULL DAYS. DAYS.

I have internet withdraw!

So, there above me are the excuses for why I haven’t been around. I’ll be back on schedule this week (so long as I’m not struck by lightning or anything…)

Since I’ve been gone I haven’t been able to look at your all’s blogs(super sorry for that), so what’s going on? Any news? Tell me please!

Also to Gab’s I AM SENDING YOU YOUR E-BOOK TONIGHT! I am dreadfully sorry for the delay!

And to RaeAnn: I am getting around to those edits I promised you. You’ll have them before the week is out!

Winter Break is Not WRITERS Break…

Hey there folks! My winter break has begun, and hopefully that means I’ll be getting a lot done. Here, and writing/reading wise.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop by and let you all know what is going to happen with the site (and yeah, okay, I’m going to ramble a bit about writing…) As, I was saying, The NI awards are going to be finishing up in the next week and a half so what I’m going to do this week (probably Sunday) is a couple of the author awards. Best blog series, most inspirational blogger, etc. I have to whip up those badges on Photoshop at some point in the next day or two, so no promises.

Secondly, HOLY CRAP! I have a ton of writing to do. Since my week of finals was mostly consumed by procrastinating on studying, idly perusing good-reads, and baking very sugary foods to keep me up at ridiculous hours to study before finals since I procrastinated diligently studying for finals, and organizing myself I didn’t have much time to write.  So this week I also need to get that done.  I just have to sort out what it is that I need to work on… ugh. I’m mostly dreading opening up THE SHADOWS THAT FELL. It. Is. A. Disaster! So that leaves me with two other choices CARVE (which I’ve been putting off doing since before Nano) or A LIGHT THAT SHATTERS (TSTF’s  prequel). Both are entanglements of disgustingly lengthy proportions, that will surely come out as blah.

Besides all that I also have to finish the final Beta Reading version of my friends manuscript (which, by the way, I’ve had for two weeks, and haven’t  even touched) I am pathetic, and totally lazy I think I just need to get organized.

Besides all of this I also have to do my summer reading project. YES MY SUMMER READING PROJECT. I am so good at procrastinating that I have put it off until winter break. Lucky me my English class doesn’t start until second semester.

Yes, I’m busy. Yes, it’s because I procrastinate. And, No, I don’t plan to stop anytime soon.

A sad bit that.

Que the PANIC

Holy crud I have NOTHING DONE! NOTHING… and now I am a mess of panic, and am madly scrambling around my room trying to figure out where I went wrong! I have had to email my chapter of ABLAZE to Carolyn for THREE DAYS NOW! THREE! And have I written it yet? NO! Why? I’m not sure, because I suck at life probably. UGH!

Also, I have less than a week to complete edits on the manuscript I’ve agreed to look over (and that is WITH an extension)!

All I have to say for myself right now is OMG why am I on WordPress writing a post? WHY!

Because I can’t deal with the total sludge that is coming out of my brain when I try to write, that is why. I mean it’s bad, I don’t like to say I have WB (don’t even want to use the word), but I hate staring at the crap that comes off the keyboard. It’s bad, and I have to SHOW IT TO SOMEONE. I have to show this first draft crap to Carolyn, and act like that is okay? What! It’s not okay, folks. Not. OKAY!

I think I need to go take some Advil, and a nap, because Thanksgiving break is over, and that means I had school today. 6AM wake up calls, and no sleep do not equal a peppy wonderful glittery person/first draft.

I guess I have no choice but to go write some terrible blubbery junk, and email it… And Cally, if your reading this, please ignore any terribly grumpy comments your manuscript has on it. Blame sleep deprivation and my utter crappiness as a writer.

Okay, end rant. I feel better now… sort of.

(Sorry caps button I think I broke you…O.o)

A Chat About Religion in Novels

I hesitated to post this. Spent an hour switching between Jango.com and here, mouse hovering over the PUBLISH button. But finally I decided to go through with it. Here goes nothing but blah:

I’m discovering that BTE has a bit to do with religion.

Is it a religious novel? No.

Is its main focus religion/spirituality? Again, No.

I’m finding that BTE is a society  into the future where things have degraded to a level in which no god, or religion any longer exists. The bible, and other books alike have slowly been forgotten or traded away in favor of food or clothing. Most traces of our society as we know it today have been washed away by a utopia that has fallen into desperate disrepair.

You see that was the original idea for BTE. What happens after a utopia falls? I mean we’ve read countless utopian books, MATCHED by Ally Condie, THE GIVER Louis Lowery, etc, etc, etc. But I began to think what happens when our heroes die? What happens after the utopia is gone? Without a government what happens to the people? And that is how BTE has evolved into a sort of steam-punk/adventure type…. thing.

Anyway, back to the “religion” thing.

You see I’ve noticed recently that my MC is in desperate need of some religion, or something to trigger her main character arc. And with the way the society has revealed itself to be I was thinking “religion”. I’m really not trying to make a statement about anything, but I once read somewhere that “religion gives people purpose, and hope. Without purpose and hope there can be no civilized society.” granted that’s not a direct quote but that was the idea behind it.

And I can see that. If people have nothing to work toward, no hope of things getting better if they do so (in this life or the next) What is it that they hold themselves accountable to, especially when there is no really government to enforce any kind of  moral or ethical rules?

Even before I began thinking of this, BTE had little hints of spirituality. The order of the “Guardians” is based upon old testament scripture (though twisted and corroded by time and the order itself) to lay down its laws.

I’m not one to take on controversial subjects, but I think that religion in every form is a very interesting if not touchy subject to use in a novel. What do you all think should I cut it for fear of a turn off to readers? Or keep it and hope for the best?

Living In A Snow-Globe

Lately the school has been pushing my class to discover what they want to go into as a career. I’ve known what I’ve wanted to be since fourth grade. Only recently have I come to understand what a ridiculous notion being a writer right out of school is, especially the kind of writer I want to be. A novelist. Parents and professionals around the world may now gasp in horror!

I love writing, always have, always will. But, I’m realizing that i can’t just do that. My dream has always been this:

Own my own bookstore. Write novels. Done. Clean perfect and sealed with a kiss! It has always seemed that simple to me. All I had to do was buy a store fill it with books,and people would come right? Then I could rake in a decent salary and work on my sure to be published YA novel.

It is not that simple. I guess I was just naive about the whole thing, and yeah I feel kind of stupid saying it, but I was. Now i’m kind of freaking out because I understand that I can’t do this right out of college or highschool or whatever level of education I had planned to complete in this fantasy.

So practically, what is a girl to do? I mean, I want a decent living… who doesn’t? And I also want to pursue my dream, which will limit the amount of jobs I can get that will allow me plenty of writing time. That list is even further narrowed by jobs that give you a decent salary.

When I first discovered this I had thought “Oh I’ll be a creative writing teacher!” Simple right? I get to teach and practice what I teacher with summers and weekends off. Then my dream was brutally crushed by my worst enemy. Numbers. Teacher salaries are horrible. Especially fresh out of college, which is when you need money! How am I suppose to open a freaking bookshop only making 20-30,000 dollars a year huh? Even with seniority a lot of teachers only make 40,000 a year and that’s if you stay in the same place your whole life. Working 9-5.

I can’t do that. I hate doing the same thing everyday. It would drive me crazy!

So that lead me, to my parents and grandparents delight, to their option:

Engineer/chemist

Need I say more? Feel free to gasp in sheer terror. A creative soul forever chained to a desk, crunching numbers in a lab. I shudder to think of it. I can’t imagine this. Me working in a cubical, with million of other cubicles typing away on a calculator, and mixing foul-smelling chemicals behind a pair of goggles. Ugh. I refuse to be condemned to this fate. While a great money-maker (50-80,000 out of college) I can’t do it. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it.

So that left me with my back up career. Nursing. Don’t get me wrong. I actually think I’d like being a nurse. You get to help others, and according to most nurses I’ve talked to there is a super high demand for them. Along with that their out of college salary is pretty awesome at 40-60,000 a year with only a two-year associates degree. Their hours aren’t awesome, but they are super flexible, and part-time work has a ton of potential in this area. I could easily work 4 days a week and still make good money.

This should make me happy right? Making good money with a good amount of writing time, but I’m not happy. Mostly i’m freaked out. My whole life is changing. It’s crazy scary to realize that the way you’ve envisioned yourself living your life isn’t really practical (and thus, for a sensible girl like me, not possible).

I’m desperately afraid of the fact that I’ll somehow lose my writing if I don’t become a book store owner or a teacher. It’s so stupid and childish to believe it, but I do. It’s as if I lived in a snow-globe my whole life and suddenly somebody has shattered the sphere, and now I see the world as it really is. It’s good that I see it, but it’s scary. Now I’m kind of wishing the snow-globe had been the whole world.

I understand that plenty of people write with a full-time job, but that just wasn’t how I saw myself. I guess I’m just now “re-seeing” myself, if you know what I mean. Maybe that is what is freaking me out. The fact that I’m having to redefine what I’ll be, and in that, I’ll have to change who I am.  And writing, writing is who I am.

That is all I have to say about that. I know I won’t lose my writing, but I just can’t shake this feeling that it won’t be the same. Weird. I know.

In  other less, serious news, I purchased WITHER today. This cool little Indie store by my house got a close out lot of 20 copies and I purchased a perfect hardback for only 3.99. A crime against humanity, I know! I also obtained Sabotage by Margaret Peterson Haddix for the same price. So I suppose I’m off to read those and forget about my writing worries.

Anyone else ever have this freaky experience?

Re-Do & How to’s

Okay you all are going to think I’m crazy, like totally nuts.

I’m scrapping BTE D2. ALL of  it. I got about 5,000 words in tonight and then BAM I realized, it wasn’t working it was terrible. It’s not that “I suck as a writer” kind of terrible, it was “God this could be good, but its going in the totally wrong direction” type of terrible. And so all 5,000 words of  BTE D2 are being DELETED. Don’t I frustrate you all? Because, I frustrate myself to no end. Anyway I promised you all something “good” today, and since I can’t be counted on to give you any good advice right now other than the delete button I’m going to direct you to someone who can.

Maggie Stiefvater. She just posted a page full of links on her writing advice. It has a ton of great posts about novel-writing, editing, and querying so you all should head on over THERE to look at it!

Enjoy Maggie’s advice!

Also, wish me some luck on deleting things Have any of you ever had to do this?